Joe asked the magic question, one that I have been waiting for, for 54 posts!
And here is the award winning question.
Q: Why at the end of your posts do you put "I hope that this clears it up for you."
Shouldn't you be sure it did?
A: Well Joe, when it comes to you and my other regular readers I am sure. But with all the black boxes and random hits we get one can never be to sure about who lands on your site.
So I leave that little note to let them know that I can draw them a little picture or even spell it out a bit if needed.
And so far you are the only person to ask about that at the end of my posts. I have had other readers comment around it like " yes that does clear it up for me thanks" but you are the first to "ask me why." and for that you get the Question award. Hold it dear to your computer they don't get given out easy.
Another text question or two, I think she is having a bad day or she thinks I am easily stumped. But my friend Kateka well get her answers. Then I will deal with the reason for them.
Q: 1.) Why must people try to be big and bad?
A: Well this should be quite clear, they just want there way and they want to look cool in doing it They put up this front and try to be something they are not. The funny thing about it is after a time it well blow up in there face.
There can only be one answer guy, and that's as cool as you can get!
Q: 2) Why do they think that their poo don't smell bad?
A: Because they have had their heads up their poo hole for so long there noses don't work right and they need to see a doctor. Trust me there are two things we all have, opinions and poo holes and they both stink most of the time!
SOMS has come up with a question that has the world on the edge of its seat. And now I will answer the question and put it to rest once and for all. See if the world leaders would of come to me with this we would of moved on a long time ago.
So here it is. Q: Is global warming real or not?
A: Okay, first hell no - Warming, I don't know about where you live but last winter started in Sept. and lasted in tell June. that don't sound like warming. That sounds like global cooling!. And of course I have an easy fix for this. All we need to do is get everyone who is old enough to play with a bic lighter out side every morning and lite it up. If they would hold it out there in tell they burn (not bad just that they would drop it) fingers that would reverse the effects of the global COOLING. Then I will feel more like a young man my bones wont ache from the cold.
Well another first here at at the ask blog! I have gotten questions posted here and on my other blog, via e-mail, even on myspace but this question came via a text message! My public loves me....( that's why I don't even get 1 question a day...they don't want to wear me out) Oh the love!!!
Here's the question;
Q: Why do women usually live longer than men?
A: Because we men as a rule do most of the hard labor ( yes I know you push out the kids) and at least as much of the stress work in our day to day lives. But we don't mind bending over backwards, pampering you to no end. It gives us such a great joy to end our pathetic little lives sooner just to please you.
Q: City, you are cracking me up. So, tell me how you got these shots? Salt lick?
GMJ left this on my #1 blog. I don't think she knew what she had done. (but I did tell her)
She was talking about some pictures of 3 bucks I took down the street from my home.
So here is your answer.
A: I have been tracking deer for 40 years now. I have learned to think like them. I know what they are going to do before they do. (plus I can talk to them.... which always helps)
I just ask them to stand like this are to stand like that, and they do it. The only reason they are looking at me is I asked them to. Like the big buck, I said "hey big guy strike a pose for me" and he said "you bet ya Ken" (see I'm on first name bases with them)
Now as far as the second Question, Are you calling me a salt lick or asking me if I need one!
Either way I will answer both.
No I am not a salt lick!
And no I don't need one either, that much salt is bad for you.
No the truth is that I approach them slowly and am always watching their ears and their tails for that is how I judge their temperament. And I always back away watching them. I have found that by doing that, I can return in a few minutes and get even closer to them. They know I'm not going to hurt them and they relax a little.
Well we don't want Giggles to have to wait any longer. she is with child and if she gets to upset she could unleash Rat girl on us and that would be a bad thing... (I shutter to think what could happen)
Q: What was my most embarrassing moment?
She has no fear this one! lol
Funny you should ask this....... Are you tapped in on my phone, for I was just talking about this with my sister the other day!
A: It was my 8th birthday, we were going to roast hot dogs out side before my cub scout meeting that night. I went out and was cutting sticks for the hot dogs I needed 8 2 brothers 3 sisters (1 was a foster sister for those who know I have just 2 sisters) mom and dad and my self. My mom said that I should cut extras in case some caught fire.... sounded good to me. so I did as asked. (first time for everything you know) While my dad started the fire. Then one of my cub scout buddy's showed up. Said that his mom and dad had something to do and he was going to the meeting with us. ( again sounded good to me John was one of my best friends). But as more and more of my den showed up I figured out it was a surprise party. And we all were having a blast.
Then came time to light the candles on the cup cakes my mother had made for us. remember I'm 8 and I was lighting the candles.....Yep I burned my left fore finger but good. My father wrapped it up with the biggest blue bag of ice you have ever seen. The damn thing was 1/2 as big as I was, for Pete's sake! Then off the the meeting where I was to get a patch. At the end of the meeting when I was called up to get my patch (which I was so proud of) I tried to hid this LARGE blue bag I had on my hand. When the scout master handed me my patch he turned me to face the crowd (note he did not do this with the other scouts). Then informed them that it was my birthday and they all started singing happy birthday to me....All this time my huge bag of ice had sprung a leak and there was a large puddle on the floor at my feet looking as if I had pissed my pants...
Now was this a true story or was this something that my brain made up just for you?
Here's one from my Trix girl! She is trying to stump me, We wont let that happen over a easy question as this.
I was wondering when this question was going to hit here. I thought it would of come from MIT or Stanford, maybe even Yale. But I should of known it would come from someone smarter than them. (see I know how to score points)
Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: The egg, it had to be. Although what laid the egg was close to being a chicken, it could not of been. But what came out of the egg was a chicken. Plus it makes me sound so smart and will impress Trix, so that's my answer.
Now if you don't believe in evolution, then i am wrong and it is the exact opposite of what I said, which will make me right and I score the points anyway.
I will make this long story a little shorter, but the question will be intact. Maria ( I have no way to shorten it so it will stay Maria) Is going to court against a sleaze ball. (yes I can call him a sleaze ball its my blog and i will always take the woman's side...I'm no dumb ass)
She wants to put a good impression on the judge. Now I know some thing about impressing judges having been in front of one or two in my time. ( of course I was innocent... how dare you even think that)
So here is the question;
Q: Its at 8:45 (court that is) in the morning, what should I wear?
A: Well if I was a judge I would want you looking good! A mini skirt with knee high boots and a low "V" neck sweater and maybe some chewing gum. You will win your case in record setting time, maybe even in the history of the court.
Okay, This question comes from Sunshine on my shoulders or as I will call her (SOMS)
Q:How do you know my picture is a fly and not a bee? I've been googling to try to find out exactly what it is and haven't come up with anything conclusive.
A; If you look at the way it holds its wings out away from its body, that's a dead give away, also if you would of seen the way it flies that too would of told you. Bee's hold their wings in over there body kind of like closed up. (some fly's do this also). But I must mention that a wasp will also hold its wings out a way from its body, but it is a wasp not a Bee.
But the main thing that tells me it a fly is the fact that we have them here and I have held them in my hand and never been stung.
Now you now why you ask the answer guy, I know all the answers (at least in my world anyway)
Okay, I'm not sure this is where I should be putting this, but it was a question asked of me, so here is where I put it. (Its the tough decisions that make me great ya know)
M&M Wants to know what my answers would be to my own questions? I almost said NO, I won't answer my own questions, It sounded like talking to my self but only everyone can see. But then I figured that you would find out sooner or later that I did, Anyway so here we go!
1. State boarders 2. = money exchange 3. Its so hard to improve on this....I just don't know
(Translated that means I don't have enough time or room to put it to post)
Okay, we are now not just getting bloggers, e-mails and myspace people to submit questions. We now have spouses! Cool! like the header says all are welcome to play (see I mean what I say) So this one comes from Giggles hubby, (we will call him Giggles hubby for short).
Q: Do you think that the world will be destroyed by the science experiments happening in Geneva Sweden...and why?
First I think its OUT SIDE Geneva, For Christ sake the thing is 27 miles long, well if you straightened it out it would be. And what do you mean "Do I think", I don't think I'm not the, I think guy! I'm the answer guy. Your wife should of told you this, or you could of read the header where it says "you ask, I answer". It doesn't say "you ask, I think!" OK now on with the question (these newbie players I tell ya)
A: This super collideier as it is called, will not cause mini black holes to form sinking to the center of the earth and consuming us as we go kicking and screaming to our deaths. Some of the brightest minds on earth are working on this! Plus let us not forget we have had others for years, this one is just bigger and more powerful. The storm that we have been hearing is from some scientists that didn't get to work on the project and are jealous.
Plus if I'm wrong well I guess you can tease me about it later then! Oh no you can't hahaha I hope that this clears it up for you!
Okay here is Joe again (Joe i really like your questions, you need to play often!) And he will be on my blog list as soon as i get the time to do it! (I'm such a busy guy...really)
Q: As far as the question posed to you...(see the post below) Are you sure you weren't suckin up a little picking Giggles as your favorite...after all wasn't it her who asked the question to begin with?
Now Joe are you reading these post, and not just skimming them, you seem to miss things in them!
A: I did not list them as 1,2,3,4. And I said I don't play faves. Now I did put Giggles first, but that was to help my case with Aunty Vi (She's HOT man)
Now I don't play faves. (well not that I will admit to anyway) But I have some I like more than others! Ohhh I'm talking about the adventures of RAT GIRL. Now you want to read something funny try this one out. I don't need to do a link to it, its listed on the right hand side of my blog!. But "GiGGeLs" has another question for me. so here we go!
Q: Who is your favorite "the adventures of rat girl" character and why?
A very good question, this is a great cartoon you really must see! I fell in love with it right off! Okay here it is,,,,Drum roll please.........
A: Giggels, of course is one, I mean who likes Superman and not Clark Kent, Right! Rat girl, everyone loves a good Hero! Aunty Vi, I just want to meet her.. (HUBBA, HUBBA) hook a guy up! Slut, just because of who Rat girl hooked her up with in the last episode. (he is such a sleaze!) And last but not least. Postman twat, I know a guy just like him lol!
This one is from a blogger I have just found this week. If I knew how to do the link thing (some one said they would help me with this but......... you know who you are J_G). Any way her name is Ettarose, and you can link to her from the comments on the post below. Okay here it is.
Its a long one so relax;
Q: Why in your picture, you know the one to the right, my right, it may be your left, do you not look old enough to have a daughter that is 25!
OK now this is supposed to end with a "?" not a "!". But I will over look it this time its your first time, and it should be special!
A: First I would like to thank you for saying this!. Second I would like to know when the last time you had your eyes checked, and please tell me you don't drive this way! but really it runs in our family on my Mothers side, she is 74 and we have about the same amount of gray. that and I work hard, play hard and at least once a week I head out into the woods and get away from it all. Then when I return I head straight to my plastic surgeon, or maybe a little botox and BAM I look fabulous.
This one comes from down under! Lets all give a warm welcome to Giggles! (the crowd goes wild.....Haaaa haaaaa ) And here is her uhhh question (s). yep the rookie mistake!
Q: So... let me get this straight...We ask you a question, any question, and you do a post answering it? <(see that's a question mark.)
And can it be any question? <(another question mark)
Completely unrelated and random? <(still another one)
Seriously... that is my question.
Okay, first I counted 3 "?" marks, which is not a first here(right M & M). I really don't mind multi questions, in fact I find it funny that no one ever notices the fact that they are doing it, and I find that funny. but I notice because I'm the answer guy!
1.) Yes, and as you can see I have gotten some very tough questions in the first month! (I feel so taxed)
2.) Um, I think I answered that up above. Yep I did.
3.) The more unrelated the better. The more random the better. So the answer to this one is betterbetter! (that's my word double dibbs, no take backs)
JAG wants to know a little more about the answer guy (who can blame her right).
For her I'm an open book (I didn't say it was a good read, come on stop laughing at me, you will hurt my felling, yes I only have 1). anyway on to the question!
JAG asks, Q: How are you still single?
A: I think that it is because of my head; You know all the scars on it.... What you say you didn't know. Well JAG you should. Every time I'm serenading you out side your bed room window, Someone throws a boot at me and screams something about a cat in heat!
The funny thing is I can never find a cat out there, or do I ever hear one! But I always get hit by the boot, it has scared me for life.
Ok, here is an Apple question from M & M. Q: Have I tested the theory of "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away"?. I think I know where she got this idea (hint look 2 posts down). But she must not remember the thing with me and Apple! But here we go anyway! A: No I have not!, I can't eat apples for 2 more months, And if you were a true reader of my blogs you would know about all the apple trouble I have had lately. So I ask YOU my dear M & M, if you had the same history would you!. Try me in a couple months when I can do the research for my self, For that is the only way I can trust the results! I hope that this frustrates you
Introducing Kateka, a long time friend and a first time player! This question comes from myspace (that's right the answer man knows no boundaries).
Q: Does a kiss a day keep the Doctor away?
Again I had to do a long STUDy on this, it took like 2 weeks to compile all the data! (I really hate this part of the job, but I did it because the truth must be known!)
A: I went out and kissed the same 200 women every day for two weeks. here are the results: 17 of them ended up pregnant 22 moved away My house was egged 4 times T.P.ed twice And I got shot at twice But not one got sick so YES IT DOES!!
Q: Why do smoothie manufactures consider humour a decent tool for selling their drink ?
Sorry it took so long to get the answer for this question! I had to rock 2 computers at the same time to get to the truth of this!. Now understand that as I was attempting to retrieve this info
they were trying to hide it from me. (they didn't know what they were up against) And that's why the 2 computers were needed!
O.K. this is what I found out.
A: there is a secrete society that runs around all over the planet gathering information about all sorts of things. Once a year they meet in a secrete meeting place called "the secrete meeting place" where they compile all this data and make earth shattering decisions.
Here are there biggest ones to date! (remember you read these at your own risk)
1,) We will call our secrete meeting place the "secrete meeting place"
2.) Some country's will drive on the right side of the road, some on the wrong!.
3.) we will call Tomato's a fruit and not a veggie!
4.) we will remove all the blood spewing baby killing adds from smoothies and place humour there instead. that should keep people from buying them!.